Welcome to HSP Notes!

I am a Highly Sensitive Person. I have always known this, but I discovered there was a "name" for it, in 1997, and have spent the ensuing years learning all I can about the innate aspects of the trait, about myself, and what it means in my life. Although relatively few people are aware of it, as many as 15% of the population are HSPs. Unfortunately, "being sensitive" carries some incorrect and negative connotations that often lead sensitives to "misdiagnose" themselves, or hide their true nature.

I am hoping this site will serve as not just "a blog," but also as an information resource for HSPs, whether you've just discovered that "Hey! This is ME!" or have been exploring the meaning of "being sensitive" for a long time.

Please explore the 100s of HSP-related resources in the right-hand column, from articles, to web sites, to web forums, to support groups and more.



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Tuesday, February 09, 2010

HSP Topics: "Lowered Expectations" vs "Attainable Goals"

Recently, I've been thinking about how many HSPs struggle to put themselves "in the world" in order to achieve their goals or reach their dreams. A common subtext when this discussion comes up among HSPs often involves a lament that we feel like we have to "lower our expectations" in life because we're highly sensitive.

I just can't agree with the rather negative approach that brings to mind.

My Beloved often talks of how we must learn to view challenges and obstacles in terms of their highest possible interpretation and potential... and this happens to be a philosophy I strongly agree with. I'm by no means a Pollyanna, but let's pause and think, for a moment:

Wouldn't it make you feel better about yourself if you dropped the term "lowered expectations" and instead reframed what you were considering as setting an "attainable goal?"

If you take that a step further, consider this: Wouldn't it be depressing, in the long run, to always go in pursuit of an UNattainable goal?

As HSPs, we have a tendency to fall into patterns of negative self-talk. Part of this is often a result of taking a situation and spinning it as either "better than" or "worse than," rather than simply sticking to a more basic truth that our needs and talents are "DIFFERENT from" those of most people around us. Comparing ourselves to a "Type A" overachieving workaholic and feeling "less than" is hardly productive. Our task, in incorporating our sensitivity into our daily lives, is in understanding ourselves... and then making the most of that, rather than aspiring to "be like others."

As I once heard said at an HSP Gathering: "Comparisons are deadly. My life is MY life."



Talk Back: Have you changed your goal setting, since learning you were an HSP? Are your goals attainable? Do you feel like you have "lowered" your expecations? Do you catch yourself going into a pattern of "comparing yourself" where comparisons actually do not make sense?

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